Jokes Session =)

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
- Winnie The Pooh

Acheivements
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
- Unknown

Actual Answering Machine Messages.
*My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.

*Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

*Hi. Now YOU say something.

*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.

*Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.
- oneluckystar

The First Man of 2008 - Ron Paul

Ron Paul is the President 2008

Congressman Ron Paul is the leading advocate for freedom in our nation's capital. As a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, Dr. Paul tirelessly works for limited constitutional government, low taxes, free markets, and a return to sound monetary policies. He is known among his congressional colleagues and his constituents for his consistent voting record. Dr. Paul never votes for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution. In the words of former Treasury Secretary William Simon, Dr. Paul is the "one exception to the Gang of 535" on Capitol Hill. He makes it clear that his principles will never be compromised, and they never are."

A New Hope Is Coming!

Lets Get United!

Blog Action Day 2007

The Amazing Umbilical Brothers!

Make sure Your Speaker or HeadPhone is Turned ON!
The Umbilical Brothers - The Cowboy Taps


The Umbilical Brothers - The Invisible Girl

Awesome!

What a Gay Jesus!


A WOnderFul World~(Rating for 5)

Pythagoras Switch

Cute Song with Nice Movements

Pi ta go rasu Su ic chi


When I first Saw this in NHK 6years ago.. I Loved the song and the movements...

Cool Dance!!!

Its popping from Japan Dance Delight 2005(1st Runner Up)
Cool Music Too!!!


Japan Dance Delight 2005(Winner)


Although I knew Its quite old and long adi.. But I still think Its NICE!
ENJOY! =)

Physics

Cook Your Instant Noodle by this way..

For Drama & Movie Lovers

For those JDrama, KDrama, HKDrama and TDrama Lovers... You can go to Crunchy Roll and watch it like Youtube... The link is: http://www.crunchyroll.com/
All you need to do is Sign up for an account like youtube... And Search thru Drama Section.. You can also watch many many type of movies like HKMovie, JMovie and KMovie... They have more on Asian's Movie but not much on Western's... But overall is a great place for watching those dramas and those kmovie.. I have a few Kmovie which is quite touching and Funny...
Those are my recommendations:

Innocents Steps
Young-sae was once acclaimed as the most-promising dancer. Losing his partner and lover, he lost his enthusiasm in sports dancing for two years. Now, he decides to make a comeback at the Championships held in Seoul three months later. His new partner is a girl named Chae-min who lives in China and won in a dance contest. It is then discovered that Chae-ryn has come in place of her sister and she knows nothing about dancing! Young-sae wants to send her back at first. When he sees Chae-ryn's determination to become a dancer, he starts to train her with the hardest lessons. Step by step, their dancing starts to sparkle, so as their relationship.

My Piano
Kim Ji-su is a 31-year-old single woman who once wanted to become a famous pianist like Horowitz. Her dream was shattered but she was able to go on by teaching children to play piano.
One day, she discovers a young boy Gyung-min, is a musical genius. She starts to give him intensive music lessons, preparing him for competition, but it does not turn out well.
But later, when all seems lost, Ji-su is utterly shocked when she realizes that Gyung-min carries a secret that will change her life forever.

Detective Conan Live Action
This tanpatsu celebrates the tenth year of this popular Japanese anime, originally a manga created by Aoyama Gosho. The story takes place when Shinichi was still a high school student. The talented young detective Kudo Shinichi receives a message: "I will kidnap one of your classmates during your class trip." Shinichi is going to find out the truth.

OH! HAPPY DAY!
Once upon a happy day, there was a happy girl falling in love with a man at first sight and she started to stalk him… Jang Nara and Park Jung-chul collaborate to add a new and unconventional page to the modern fairy tale in this girl-chase-boy romantic comedy "Oh! Happy Day".

She Is On Duty
aka Stephen Chow's Fight Back to School, re-set it in an all-girl's school in Korea, and add a sexy female protagonist, and you'll have some idea of what writer/director Park Kwang-choon (Madeleine)has in store for you in his entertaining action comedy, She's On Duty! Kim Seon-ah (S Diary, Wet Dreams) plays a female detective who has to go deep undercover as a high schooler in order to thwart a plot by the Japanese Yakuza to traffic teenage girls as sex slaves! Not content to save just the girls from a life of prostitution, Kim's character even lends a hand in squashing in-school violence, giving a performance that has earned raves from nostalgic audiences longing for the "good ol' days" of high school. Also featuring performances by Gong Yoo (My Tutor Friend), Nam Sang-mi (Too Beautiful to Lie), and Park Sang-myeon (My Wife is a Gangster), She's On Duty is one film that goes straight to the head of the class!

Impossible Quiz 2!

http://www.notdoppler.com/theimpossiblequiz2.php
A place to waste your time...
Do it only WHEN you are FREE!
Go try it out and tell me how's it...

Self Directed Videos

Videos Taken from Youtube... Made by Chinese Students From China.
Quite Creative...
Police Women and 2Perverts

So Funny Videos (Epi-9)

Sexist...

Those Peoples are saying girls are driving like these...
How can they say that? Even Guys will also do... Females are also human! OK?!

BeatBox Heaven

The Beardy Radio!
Including R&B, Jazz and Songs... COOL!

Australian Idol - 1st Attempt

Australian Idol - Final
Disco Machine

Crew 82(Group) - from BGT
Britain's Got Talent 1st Attempt

Watch this! Scary!

OMG! How many ppls have been sacrificed???

Mr. Children

I love this song since long time ago... About 5yrs already. A great song from Mr.Children...

Kurumi....(means future)

She Freakin Blocked ME!

Funny Pics

Keep on Scrolling...(click it)

oh no!

what is he doing there?

Coolest Bike EVER!

What the....

Wow... Thats Nice!

What a bunch of guys from the Sakai Club....

Enjoy it?? Haha...
It seems like those guys were enjoying there...

What a menu!

Freakin' Menu From Ahmad Maideen Taman Connaught...

Ready.....

Boss!! Seketuh ayam!!!

Apa Sausace ini??? Sauce ke Saw ace???? Sausage....

What?! Drugs at MYR1.00 ONLY????!!!

Damon Scott in BGT

That was super entertaining! said SIMON COWELL
Damon Scott made into (BGT)Britain's Got Talent Final but lost to Paul Potts...

What A Service!

DHL... (Korea)


SN Brussels Airlines


What A TooT Tone!!!
nice!

Funny ATM

Purikura


Like this also can????

Before & After Marriage

Before marriage. .
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..

Before marriage. .
U DIE,i'll die with u .
After marriage.
'U die, up to u. '


Before marriage. .
U go anywhere. . I follow u.
After marriage. . .
U go anywhere. . up to u.
soo long married. . .
U go anywhere better get lost!!

Before wedding
u are my heart, u are my love'
After wedding
'u get on my nerves. '

Before wedding
'u are sweet and kind just like
Cinderella'
After wedding
'u are worse than godzila'

Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like
it or
not, I'm
stuck with u
After wedding
Roses are dead, I watch blue.U get on
my head, I
will sue u

Before wedding
Every dating he brings u to Shangri-La
After wedding
U want to go, he says u 'wait-la'

Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether 'katak or
biawak'


-Taken From Maxx's Mail-

Very da Squeezed

What a Ceremony...
i think the bird is dead...


You see what this guy did..
omg... so damn crazy...


Husband & Wife
see how this wife give a lesson to its husband after the husband went to hook..(kiddin)


What a creative guy!
p/s: Don't always think about dirty stuffs

Tun Dr. Mahathir

Today I read Peggy's Blog and saw this - Dr. M is dead?
Then I quickly went to The Star Online and check whether it is true or not... But Luckily it wasn't true... But if not because of this I wouldn't know that Dr.M is in such a bad condition that makes everyone worried... But I was glad to found out that:

Tun Dr M 's condition remains stable (Updated)

KUALA LUMPUR: Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad's condition remains stable following his second surgical procedure last Saturday, the IJN said in the statement released Monday evening.

"He is awake, conscious and continues to be closely monitored."

"The team of doctors are happy with his current progress,"

"Tun Dr Mahathir is able to receive visits from his immediate family members," the statement read.

-news updated as at 8.50pm 24th Sept(Monday)
(Taken from The Star Online)

Here is the link to Tun's Daughter, Datin Marina's Blog...
Here I wish that Tun Dr.M may recover as soon as possible and get back as normal... Although he is not our PM anymore... But in my heart.. He is still the best to us! Doesn't mean that Abdullah Badawi is not good at all... I mean he(Tun) is always in our heart.... We want him to get well soon! Lets pray together....

Star Idol Top 4

Today I went to NTV7 as usual to attend MayJune's Star Idol Result Show which was Broadcasted Live... It was such a scary moment when MayJune went into the Dangerous Stage for the very last moment.. Luckily that She was not eliminated from the Competition... It was so exciting for everyone who supports MayJune for sure... She has the potential to win the competition although she has a great competitors such as MJ... But still, I think MayJune is the best.. Don't you think so? I guess that the two finalist would be MJ and MayJune.. Anyway... We should pity Hishiko that she is not able to enter the next round... But we will support every Star Idol contestants as they had went thru so many great and tough moments... Those are the photos which MayJune was rushing to take photo before the top 4 is going to 988fm... It was such a happy moment for her today... Made us proud again for another round.. I believe she'll be the Malaysian Star Idol Winner!!! I support her like the fans of her's... Come and Support MayJune for the next round by:

type: star mayjune
send to: 36877


The vote will only available the next coming Friday Night.

Those are the photos:

SooChuan & MayEr with MayJune

Family with MayJune1

Family with MayJune2

Shaun & Peggy with MayJune

KayLee with MayJune

Me with MayJune

MiHui with MayJune

These Photos Below Was Taken In The Previous Result Show:

Monday The Handsome Guy

Family with MayJune

Me and MayJune

Carmen & Yim with MayJune

Funny Toons...

As Extracted from my Mail...

World Fastest Again...

World Fastest Stripper
omg! can you strip within 30sec? But he can do it even faster than that.


World Fastest Talking Man


The Prince of Thief


World Fastest Drinker

Fastest Hand in the World

Those clips are about the people with some task done by their fast hands... Perfecto! I would say they are the Fastest in the World..

World Fastest Secretary - Jz Like Machine
-it is super fast-


Fast Hands on Game
Such an Insane Kid who Play a Game with a such Speed


Fast Hands with Cups
What the?


Another Mario Piano
This is much faster than the previous 1..
He used the metronome to prove that he didn't edit the video n sound..

Amazing Musicians

Joseph the BeatBox King...


11year old Bianca Ryan in America's Got Talent


12year old Tony Royster JR Drum Solo


The Mario Piano

As everone watched before

6year old Connie Talbot in Britain's Got Talent

Funny Videos

Funny Granny...


Serious Actors..


Lord Of The Rings(Hokkien)


Japanese Learning English

Introduction

Welcome to My Squeeze Heaven a.k.a. Squeeze Cafe that brings you the funny videos, jokes, life, travelling and places.. My origin is from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Starting this blog is like giving a better living to anyone with the entertainment that is available here. Hope you will enjoy the time you spend here. I believe that I'll make the best for all of you...

Why "Squeeze"?
In Chinese, Squeeze means Zha Dao in Mandarin or Zha Dou in Cantonese. And I've translated into Squeeze - direct translation.
Which means "swt"(sweat-.-") used in chatlogs...

Why "COOOO"?
Because I have no Idea what to put for my Nick. And my mind came across with this super lame meaning of COOOO which means Chief O'si O'liu Operating Officer... What a name rite?
O'si means berak in Malay and poo in English...
O'liu means kencing in Malay and pee in English.

The Real Person Behind This Blog:
My name is Darryl Tee who is from Kuala Lumpur. Would like to share those funny stuffs and jokes around... My Occupation - A Lazy Person.. (ALP) Love to Joke around with anyone. Of course with you too! Thanks for spending your time in this place.. Hope you like it.. And please leave some comment if there is any.. Thank You very much..